Smoke free Christmas songs created from a humorous crew from an AOL smoking cessation message board. Hey, whatever works to keep you smober I say!
Jingle bells
I don’t smell
like an old chimney
since I tossed my cigarettes
and threw my smokes away HEY
Jingle bells
life is swell
since I’ve been smoke-free
I stopped this foul addiction
and set my real self free
All my smoking friends
they still light up you see
I can’t let them know
that they cough real phlegmy HACK HACK HACK
I remember when
I did not care to know
so as for me I’ll laugh and sing
this smoke free life I know OH
Jingle bells
I don’t smell
now my life is free
thanks to all my smoke free friends
I’m free from misery OH
Jingle bells
life is swell
I’m nicotine free
I’ve stopped this foul addiction
and set my real self free
Myriah
So they called me pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
the one who would not quit pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
I was the last hold out pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
I thought I’d never quit pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
rum-pa-pum-pum
rum-pa-pum-pum
Now I’m smoke free pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
I can breathe easily pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
I used to cough and wheeze pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
Sometimes my lungs would freeze pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
rum-pa-pum-pum
rum-pa-pum-pum
Now they see me pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
with no yellow fingees pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
my breath it smells real sweet pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
and I don’t sound phlegmy pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
rum-pa-pum-pum
rum-pa-pum-pum
Yes, you too can quit pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
and sing this silly song pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
or you can hum along pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
just give those smokes to Him pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
rum-pa-pum-pum
rum-pa-pum-pum
Myriah
Joy to the world
my patch is on
Zyban is by my side!
There’s candy too and fireballs
and redhots if I climb the walls
and heaven and nature sing
and heaven and nature sing
and heaven and heaven and nature sing
Joy to the world
my smokes are gone
I threw them in the trash!
I tossed out every cigarette
I must admit there’s no regrets
and heaven and nature sing
and heaven and nature sing
and heaven and heaven and nature sing.
Joy to the world
I'm done with smokes
I'm free, yippy skippy!
Now all of my heart
prepared Him room
and heaven and nature sing
and heaven and nature sing
and heaven and heaven and nature sing
Myriah
Silent night
holy night shirt
from the last smoking flirt
almost caught my home on fire
went to jail, it was all rather dire
how I wish I had quit
oh yes, that lead me to quit
Silent night
holy night
no more smokes, such a fright
I don’t know if I can really quit
I’m committed to try, I’ll admit
such a scary plight!
oh such a scary plight
Silent night
gosh, its alright
yes I think the ways in sight
I can breathe and I’m feeling okay
All I’ve got is to deal with today
holy angels are here
holding my hand, there’s no fear
To the tune of: Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Have yourself another glass of water
Let your heart be light
From now on your cigarettes are out of sight
Have yourself another glass of water
All the boardies say
From now on your cravings will be miles away
Here we post on the internet
Anniversaries, galore
Faithful friends who have quit with us
Like to sip with us, once more
Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow
Fill your glass up high and take another vow
And have yourself another glass of water now
@@@@Gena@@@@@
Proud member of the TCS
5/22/02
"When you learn, teach. When you get, give.
Maya Angelou
Jolly old St. Nicholas,
Lean your ear this way,
Don't you tell a single soul,
What I'm going to say....
We want to smoke a cigarette,
We're only having one,
No one has to know 'bout this,
Please don't spoil the fun.
Johnny wants a Marlboro,
Sally wants a Kent,
Nellie wants a menthol, please,
Says she likes the scent.
Now I think I'll leave to you,
What you'll let me puff...
What's this? You say "No nicotine!"
Santa you are tough!
Nick
We three things are boring by far
Bearing down we will leave our scar
Nicotine, smoke and fire
We promise you the stars.
ohhhhhh, woooooooohh
Now I wonder how I might
kick the habit, win the fight
Chesterfield or Nicoderm CQ
Which one will it be tonite?
Born to breathe, I screwed up my lungs
Old Golds and Luckys filled 'em with dung
Running never, hacking ever,
I pay the premium price
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Now I wonder how I might
Kick the habit, win the fight
Chesterfields or Nicorettes
Which will it be tonight?
Frank's Pall Mall's I tried them twice
Bill's Marlboros they sure were nice
Larks were so tempting, Kents were exempting
me from my own real life.
Ohhhhhhhhhh, wooooooooooooooooo
Scar of Winston, Scar of True
Filled my head with lies and blues
Quitting's painful, so disdainful
Maybe tomorrow. EWWWWWWWWW.
Basic's mine, it's bitter perfume,
Breathes a life of smoking doom
Salems and Monarchs, Kools and Barclays
Then there's the Picayunes.
Smoke and fire and burning are neat
Once tobacco ruled in my seat
I've changed my needs and chosen indeed to
dump all these in the street.
Michael
Pretty package, cutesy package
This is part of the game
In the air there's the stale smell of smoking
Children crying
People dying
And you'd thing they would know
That on every street corner you'll see
Cigarettes, Cigarettes
It's gonna kill you even'ch'lly
Ding a ling! Feel the sting?
Soon it will be much too late
Feel the panic as you realize
You are down to your last 2
Now what will you do in the morning?
Huddled outdoors
Set apart from
Other people who breathe
And on every street corner they smoke
Cigarettes, cigarettes
It's gonna kill you someday
Ding a ling! Feel the sting?
Do you like dying alone?
Michael
Oh, the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
And since we've nowhere to smoke,
Tell a joke! Tell a joke! Tell a joke!
It doesn't show signs of stopping
And I brought some corn for popping,
And who wants to smoke in the snow?
Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!
When we finally kiss goodnight,
How I'm glad that my breath doesn't smell.
And if you really hold me tight,
All the way home I'll feel swell!
The fire is slowly burning,
And my dear, we still aren't yearning,
To light another cig,
This is big! This is big! This is big!
Nickerdoodle Do
The First Cigarette
Will take you right back
To the life you once led when
You risked heart attack.
The First Cigarette
Indeed, the First Puff,
Is all that you need
For all kinds of bad stuff.
The First Cigarette
With its foul nicotine
Will destroy all those months
You've been so strong and clean.
The First Cigarette,
It's the worst you can do,
It will make you feel guilty
And oh, so blue.
So, don't even think
You can smoke it -- you can't.
If you light up that cigarette
You'll soon start to pant.
The First Cigarette
Is too awful to try,
So don't borrow or beg one
And clearly don't buy.
Nerves are frayed
Are you listening
On the brow
Sweat is glistening
A horrible sight
Were quitting tonight
Giving up the habit that we hate
Gone away, are the ciggies
Here to stay, is the piggies
We’re not going to croak
We’re frustrated folk
Giving up the habit that we hate
In the morning we can drink some coffee
Posting on the puter to the board
They’ll write “Are you smoking?”, We’ll say, “No man”
“We’re eating all the doughnuts we can hoard”
Later on
We’ll conspire
As we weep by the fire
To face unafraid
The cake that we made
Giving up the habit that we hate
In the morning we can do some situps
Hoping that our middles will slim down
Breathing can be tough because we lit up
Cigarettes have made our lungs turn brown
So we eat, gave up smoking
Now we’re fat, we’re not joking
It’s water we drink
We no longer stink
Giving up the habit that we hate
@@@@Gena@@@@@
I'm dreaming that I smoke cigarettes
Just like I used to smoke before
As I lie here sleeping
My heart starts leaping
And then, my husband starts to snore
I'm dreaming that I smoke cigarettes
With every breath that I can take
Oh these dreams are merry and bright
And these lovely cigarettes are light
@@@@Gena@@@@@
Rudolph The Black Lunged Reindeer
Had a problem we all know
Smoking was his obsession
Rudy couldn’t let it go
All of the other reindeer
Tried to help their leader quit
They didn’t want poor Rudolph
Buried in the barnyard pit
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa made a plea
Rudolph with your lungs so black
Don’t give me a heart attack
Rudy believed in Santa
More than he believed in Nic
That’s when he gave up smoking
Now his nose is all that’s lit!
@@@@Gena@@@@@
On the first day of quitting,
My body said to me,
I'm glad that you finally set me free.
On the second day of quitting,
My body said to me,
This is harder than I thought,
But I'm glad that you finally set me free.
On the third day of quitting,
My body said to me,
Can't I have just one?
It's harder than I thought,
But I'm glad that you finally set me free.
On the fourth day of quitting,
My body said to me,
I'm not sure I'll make it,
Can't I just have one?
It's harder than I thought,
But I'm glad that you finally set me free.
On the fifth day of quitting,
My body said to me,
Maybe there's hope...
I'm still not sure I'll make it,
Can't I have just one?
It's harder than I thought!
But I'm glad that you finally set me free.
On the sixth day of quitting,
My body said to me,
Hey it's not so bad now,
Maybe there's hope...
I'm still not sure I'll make it,
Can't I have just one?
It's harder than I thought!
But I'm glad that you finally set me free.
On the seventh day of quitting,
My body said to me,
Gee I've stopped coughing,
Hey it's not so bad now,
Maybe there's hope...
I'm still not sure I'll make it,
Can't I have just one?
It's harder than I thought!
But I'm glad that you finally set me free.
On the eighth day of quitting,
My body said to me,
Hardly any cravings,
Gee I've stopped coughing,
Hey it's not so bad now,
Maybe there's hope...
I'm still not sure I'll make it,
Can't I have just one?
It's harder than I thought!
But I'm glad that you finally set me free.
On the ninth day of quitting,
My body said to me,
Think of all the savings,
Hardly any cravings,
Gee I've stopped coughing,
Hey it's not so bad now,
Maybe there's hope...
I'm still not sure I'll make it;
Can't I have just one?
It's harder than I thought!
But I'm glad that you finally set me free.
On the tenth day of quitting,
My body said to me,
I've regained my sense of smell,
Think of all the savings,
Hardly any cravings,
Gee I've stopped coughing,
Hey it's not so bad now,
Maybe there's hope...
I'm still not sure I'll make it;
Can't I have just one?
It's harder than I thought!
But I'm glad that you finally set me free.
On the eleventh day of quitting,
My body said to me,
I'm not in smoker's hell,
I've regained my sense of smell,
Think of all the savings,
Hardly any cravings,
Gee I've stopped coughing,
Hey it's not so bad now,
Maybe there's hope...
I'm still not sure I'll make it;
Can't I have just one?
It's harder than I thought!
But I'm glad that you finally set me free.
On the twelfth day of quitting,
My body said to me,
By Jove, I think I've done it!
I'm not in smoker's hell
I've regained my sense of smell,
Think of all the savings,
Hardly any cravings,
Gee I've stopped coughing,
Hey it's not so bad now,
Maybe there's hope...
I'm still not sure I'll make it;
Can't I have just one?
It's harder than I thought!
But I'm glad that you finally set me free.
Nick
Twas the night before quitting, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The cigarettes were tossed in the trash can with care,
In hopes that relief soon would be there.
The matches, the lighters, the ashtrays were gone,
The quitmeter installed -- it wouldn't be long.
A bottle of Zyban and my arm tightly patched,
The door to tobacco seemed securely latched.
When inside my mind there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon o'er the lamppost across the street,
Gave a luster of mid-day to the curbside fleet.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a pack of cigarettes and and a bottle of beer.
And -- a little old ogre, so smelly and quick
I knew in a moment it must be that Nic.
More rapid than eagles the cravings they came
As he whistled and shouted and called out my name.
"You know that you want me, you silly old goat!"
He tortured me through his yellow toothed throat.
"Come down here and light one 'cause no one will know
You'll feel so much better now say it ain't so!"
And then, in an instant, I saw myself weak
As I threw on my robe and began to seek
A way to the cigarettes without waking Ma
Hoping to break an unbreakable law.
I forgot the board, I forgot all those posts,
I didn't drink water, I thought of the ghosts
Of quits past and present and times I had failed
Had I thought ODAT I could have just bailed.
Nic was dressed as a friend all sweetness and light
And he knew how to seduce me that awful night.
A Marlboro Light he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke encircled his head like wreath.
He was gaunt and withered, a sorry old elf,
But I ignored those red flags, in spite of myself
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread.
He spoke no more words, but went straight to his work
Putting matches and cigarettes in my hands, the jerk!
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He gave me a wink and redoubled my woes.
He climbed in a hearse giving his keys a small shake
Thinking I'd not realize this would be such a mistake!
I heard him exclaim, e're he drove out of sight
"Just smoke one, it can't hurt you! You'll get through the night!"
And then something snapped inside of my brain,
And I yelled "I ain't climbing back on your train!"
I shouted and cursed and ranted and raved,
Then smiled and crushed his cigs -- and waved.
You see, Old Nic, I've got greater resolve
Your tobacco will NOT my problems solve
So tempt me tonight and tomorrow too,
But know that this one little smoker is through!
No more butts, no more smoke, no more being a slave
No more coffin nails for an early grave.
I'm free, free at last, and I feel so light,
So happy quitting to all, and to all a good night!
-- by Nickerdoodle Do. ©2002
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